Sudden Understanding, Sudden Fear 11/7/07

Watching a hopping young woman, nursing her index finger in pain. Was it her finger, or her fingernail? She does have long well manicured fingernails. Do I go over and take a look, assure her its nothing, comfort her, let her know its ok? Perhaps I just should have been a nurse, there to comfort people, help them through their times of trouble, heal them. But I can't stand humans sometimes. I believe Einstein was right. I don't understand what purpose could be in store for a very intelligent, very big hearted person. Its not arrogance, or cockiness, but a good understanding of myself. I've gotten to know myself better these last few weeks than I have my whole lifetime. But though I understand my attributes, I can't make myself out. I'm only now starting to see the big picture, though I don't see it all completely at the moment. I still don't understand my purpose or what my true goals are. I know I have a grand purpose in life. I was endowed with grand gifts, which I can only assume are meant for a some magnificent purpose, but don't know what that is. I am an Einstein, a Plato, a Socrates in the making. What is it that I am meant to contribute? A job as a nurse, an accountant, anything normal would not suit me, could not suit me. I would die a normal life, would contribute little compared to what I could have contributed. I would die miserable, would send myself to purgatory for what I chose and chose not to share and contribute. I understand now the fear that a certain somebody feels. The fear that our purpose will not be fulfilled. I fear that my stubbornness will get in the way instead of enabling me. I understand, I fear.